The Rainy Evening

The evening descended upon this city. It brought rain and cool breeze along with it. The darkness has enveloped my house and in haste I woke up. The room was completely dark, my fan was humming slowly, making a squeaky sound at perfect intervals. I lay on my bed aimlessly. Feeling a pinch of loneliness, I got a hold of my phone on my side table to realise there were tons of messages from my mother, but none from her. Remains of the dying light peaked though the curtains, very dim indeed. The room felt cooler than usual. There was a strange unholy pleasure in this darkness and loneliness. I hurried my face in the pillow, seeking her aroma, but all I got was just smell of new pillows. I hugged my other pillow tight, trying to replicate her warmth and feeling but to no avail, the pillow didn't do any justice. Still I lied there contemplating the series of events that were hence yet to happen. The cool air from the fan, the rain drops splashing against my window, the dying sunlight. Far off Voices of children in the garden, excited about rain. I wished I could add her to these feelings. She was the one missing, everything was perfect, but her absence resonated in my heart. 

After dragging myself out of bed I took a warm bath, thinking it would help me with my laziness. I was partially wrong. I prepared coffee for myself with some honey. The aroma of the roasted coffee beans completely did justice to the smell of the rain. Yes, the soft smell of rain. The hot city was drenched in tears from the sky. The constant hum of the rain and its smell along with the aroma of my coffee made me feel what a beautiful life it was, and wished I could share it with someone. 

Lord Shiva had his third eye slightly open. There was lightening, there was thunder and there was rain. I didn't bother to turn the lights on at all. In complete darkness I sat, only the evening lights presented themselves. 

Life needs to be like a lotus flower. Regardless of the menace and chaos lies around the flower, it still remains pure and beautiful from the inside. I wanted to be like that however I have come to accept that my weak heart isn't capable of it, regardless how cold-hearted I wanted to act. 

The rain poured the balcony swiftly, and I enjoyed my coffee and cigarette in this beautiful weather. The mighty rain had decided no quarter today and had in a strange manner blessed me with its cruel yet beautiful gift. 

I stood there with the beautiful scenery in front of me, admiring the Nature. However she crossed my mind, I controlled myself to brush her thought away, I decided I didn't want to fall; but in reality I already had. 

As soon as I noticed that it was time to go office, I pulled my usual facade, which merely presented that I didn't care. After all i knew I was good at hiding feelings, therefore I did what needed to be done, hoping the rain would wash away my tear and give a rest to the scars on my heart.